My Morning Routine

5:15 am: First alarm goes off. I instantly turn it off.

5:25: Second alarm goes off. Same.

5:35: Third alarm goes off. Think for a second before laying my head back down about being proactive and getting to work a little earlier, but ultimately decide to give in to sweet slumber again.

5:45: Last alarm. Okay, I should be getting in the shower now. Really need to get up. Why is it 40 degrees in my room?!

Nod off until 5:49: If I get out of the shower by 6 am I can leave on time. Maybe a game of Candy Crush will wake me up.

5 Lives lost in Candy Crush: NOW I need to get up. Realize it’s like 6:15. I should be out of the shower already! No way I’m getting to work when I wanted now. 

6:20: One internal battle later, reluctantly slink out of bed and shiver my way to the bathroom. While putting contacts in, notice some stray hairs around my eyebrows that need plucking. Continue searching like a crime scene investigator for other strays.

6:32: Oh my God what is wrong with me, seriously getting in the shower now. Actually take a shower and get ready.

7:09: Okay almost ready, just have to blow dry my hair, get dressed, and then I can go downstairs.


7:35: Start the coffee, fill up my water bottle. Agonize over the lack of options to pack in my lunch. Remember that I need something for breakfast too.

7:50: Cool, glad I’ll get to work on time like I wanted…now I’ll be there late tonight. Scrape frost off of windows because I didn’t start my car ahead of time. Forget coffee mug on the kitchen counter.

8:02 am: 5 minutes away from home, reach down for a sip of coffee. DAMN IT! Realize I forgot my coffee. Turn around and go back home.


If you’re thinking about how ridiculous this is, don’t worry, I agree with you.

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